George Carlin Quotes

Best #30 George Carlin Quotes – Best Quote Share

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George Carlin Quotes
George Carlin Quotes

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

– George Carlin

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

– George Carlin

“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”

– George Carlin

“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”

– George Carlin

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”

– George Carlin

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

– George Carlin

“Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean that the circus has left town.”

– George Carlin

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

– George Carlin

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”

– George Carlin

“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

– George Carlin

Top Best George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin Quotes
George Carlin Quotes

“We’ve added years to life, not life to years.”

– George Carlin

“Don’t just teach your children to read…teach them to question everything that they read…teach them to question everything.”

– George Carlin

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”

– George Carlin

“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”

– George Carlin

“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.”

– George Carlin

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.”

– George Carlin

“Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.”

– George Carlin

“If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.”

– George Carlin

“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”

– George Carlin

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”

– George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes Funny

George Carlin Quotes
George Carlin Quotes

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”

– George Carlin

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

– George Carlin

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.”

– George Carlin

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like.”

– George Carlin

“I don’t have pet peeves – I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”

– George Carlin

“Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

– George Carlin

“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”

– George Carlin

“How is it possible to have a civil war?”

– George Carlin

“When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.”

– George Carlin

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

– George Carlin

Best Quote Share George Carlin Quotes

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